Why do I walk down the street where you live

why do I walk down the street where you live
when all it does is remind me of the dull ache in my heart
that is the absence of you

why do i text you on my decrepit telephone
as outdated and pathetic as its owner
hoping for a response from you

why do i follow you online
when it tells me that after forgetting me
life has gone so much better for you

to all my old lovers i'm an embarrassment
something to put far behind them
maybe laugh at a stupid thing i did or said
(don't i know there's plenty of those)
but mostly to forget and leave behind
like an ugly incident a misunderstanding
a mistake

why don't i know how to forget
when it comes so easily to you
why don't i know how to stop loving
to stop caring or thinking about you
why can't i put you out of my life
the way you've put me out of yours

i know i have nothing to offer
as a lover
a friend
a person
so why can't i get used to being rejected
forgotten
discarded
appraised and found lacking

i never want to forget you
but sometimes i wish i could
being alone with your memories
is like a prison cell with an unlocked door
but no-one walks in